My writing feels uninspired, so I ramble

It’s weird when this happens but some months are just full of things that feel like tasks rather than something I wanted to do. All of June has been full of nothing but talking about things that happened, physical objects, events, notes, reviews, and rather tangible shenanigans, other than my bike rides, those are still fun.

These writings force me to write in a certain way, and I enjoy doing so, but it’s not the only way I like to write.

Some of my favorite artices here have been prompted by the most random things, I really appreciate getting to that state. Like sharing actual thoughts on things happening or on the message of a book or a series of videogames that go beyond what a review often has.

A part of me was going to reminisce on some of my favorite posts of that type, but that would just end up being another listicle, another task that would require me to do extra work. Like how game reviews need screenshots or categorizing critiques, or how weeknotes require me to check my gallery to see what I did.

I guess I just want to ramble again without any sort of defined path.

This post is just a short—future me here, not that short—acknowledgment of that. It has been happening for the whole month, so things don’t feel as fruitful as I’d like. It feels like I’m going through chores. Don’t get me wrong, those reviews are 2K words each because I had a lot to say about those videogames I loved, and because I am very happy when people put those games in their radar.

Writing those reviews and notes gives me joy, but it can feel daunting sometimes. I just want to write about writing for once, I get to do it every once in a while. I get to do it on my blog.

How have you been? What have you enjoyed? When was the last time you were in silence and contemplated the way you went through the motions of some task without any extra thing going on?

I keep reaching for podcasts, or some video in the background, or music, many times, but absolute silence while doing the dishes? Embracing boredom? It can be difficult today to do so.

As I write this though, I am in complete silence. A rare ocurrence for me lately, and it has been awesome. This paragraph is written on top of another five paragraphs I had already written, interestingly enough. I don’t always skip and write all over the place! I guess I really needed to ramble.

Yesterday I watched Rocky, one of those classic movies everyone should see some day, and I was surprised at how simple it is. There were a few scenes that happened in silence, with only some background noise and the characters doing things without saying anything. That morning scene where Rocky just swallows five raw eggs and goes to run actually hit hard, not joking! what a movie.

Reading reviews, I agreed with one of them saying it’s not really a boxing movie but a slice-of-life, that of a nobody who gets the chance of his life at challenging the champion. A lot of things happen just because Rocky decided to, he was not just going along either, but building himself up to train for this fight. Even then, he doesn’t think he can win, but he just wants to stay up for the whole 15 rounds.

And he went from a nobody, to the one guy who managed to resist Apollo Creed. He didn’t get the win, but he prevailed, and despite the fame and glory, he just went looking for Adrian, his girlfriend. Rocky didn’t care about winning or losing, he was conscious enough to call her name, and so he did, reunited with her again when credits rolled. What a finale, what a simple thing, simple storytelling is beautiful and rare, they don’t make movies like this anymore, do they?

Perhaps I am also tired of saving up spoilers on my reviews—sorry if I ruined the finale of Rocky just now, it’s still worth a watch—because it is through those bold choices in media, where I get to think the most, where I get to awe at what’s happening before my eyes. Maybe I should just do that from now on? A spoiler section where I get to gush about how unbelievable and awesome the art humans create can be?

Maybe that’s on order, not a list of things, not a top 5 or a favorites, just write about whatever things have gotten me to think just a bit more about this world, about hope, about how to keep moving forward.

There’s this sense of sadness when I begin to write about what I wish I could write about, but I am overall happy, because I’ve already written this much in the first place and writing is what matters to me, and for the most part, I love it.

This is all a ramble, but those are the kinds of posts I enjoy the most. Looking back, I think part of this was inspired by a post by isa where she talks about her personality affecting what she writes about, unable to write about what she likes because… idk? that’s just how it is sometimes? But she will try to do it in the future (maybe).

Funnily enough, I have the same problem sometimes. I already wrote about drafts that just don’t quite feel like something I want to publish. Part of that is the superficiality of it all.

Like, how I disallow myself from writing of some topics because of the sort of image of me it may create on a vacuum. When I shared my full physical Nintendo Switch collection, I kept thinking about how it probably makes me look like a guy with money to spare and a privileged life, meanwhile it’s just me with a stable job, still single and living with my parents. Even saying that feels like I am being a show off, I guess it’s true in a sense.

A long while ago I read about how X or Y is a privilege, and it feels wrong because privilege feels like a bad word nowadays. I have enough time to spend it writing here saying nothing, and I have done this dozens of times in the year, across more than 600 posts, and I keep going. Not many get to write like I do. I was about to go on a tangent on AI, but I won’t, moving on.

If you are still here, you may be about to say the same thing I’m already thinking: just write.

So, I am doing so, I am writing and considering where to go from here. To be honest, I’m already quite satisfied, I am just letting my thoughts flow and my fingers type and it’s working out pretty well. I wonder if I should add some breaks between these paragraphs, although there’s not so much of a theme between them, I wasn’t going to say more about LLMs, but they don’t get to top this raw aimless river of words, yay!

No need to remember what the book was about, no need to look for graphics or pictures to represent a theme. This is all just text, and there’s no point to it, and I love it so much.

Perhaps I should make a Junited post too, just for good measure. Or shut up, let you simmer these words in silence, get drifted away by something else, something worth your attention, or mine, and move on.

Enough, for now?

This is day 85 of #100DaysToOffload