What even is a date

I have no idea what I’m going to say here and I don’t want to sound like I’m out of touch (but I really am out of touch so forgive me).

So there’s this girl I invited to watch a movie, and I do kind of like her, and I do know that my parents are already okay with it (which isn’t a must but it’s appreciated because I generally trust their judgement), so we’ll go tomorrow, and see how it goes from there.

But here’s the thing, my family will be there, my parents, my sibling, everyone will go to the movies.

Now, I don’t intend to be romantic, I simply invited her as a friend, should I be intentional and say I’d like something serious already? There is nothing wrong with that. I also know she likes my parents, and would happily chat with my mom forever. I get kinda embarrased about it.

Basically, she’s kind of a childhood friend I only met for like a month before she moved elsewhere more than a decade ago, and somehow we live relatively close now, and it’s kind of like everything has been served on a silver plate.

Due to the internet I’ve had the pleasure of meeting many people, many women included there who I’m happy to have as friends! I have some great connections but never really tried like, dating through this medium, or in any medium. Still, some of those friends have told me how dating is hard and such, and I won’t deny I have been interested on pursuing a long distance thing. But at the same time, I don’t really know how anything is supposed to be done.

When my dad met my mom, he was direct, he told her his intentions and that he wasn’t playing any games. But me? How can I be sure? Is the fact that I’m insecure about this a good or bad sign?

And now, just like it happened when I got my job, things seem to fit together like a puzzle, and, just like my job, I am not sure I’m comfortable with how it could go.

Maybe I am overthinking it? Maybe I am just blind and she already just sees me as a good friend and we will go nowhere anyway? I think her life is way better structured than mine, from what I’ve seen, so perhaps she will think I’m still like an adult kid and a good friend and leave it there.

Another problem is that she lives a city away, and I don’t drive. So if things actually go somewhere from here and we actually start something more than this sort-of-date-with-my-family-there. Would I have to get a car or just take a bus whenever, ask her to pick me up? That feels a bit too much.

Another thing, should I tell her I’m serious from the start? I want to be serious, I don’t really feel like getting into the “dating” people thing like some seem to be about. I have a feeling she’s serious about it too, like, whenever she dates she will not mess around either.

But I don’t know, I’m just a little worried and a bit excited, and also conflicted. I like her, perhaps, but I can’t deny I’ve liked others too, and there are so many things that I’m not sure I’ll be able to be without.

Like, I want someone to share my hobbies with, and while I feel like we will get along with anime and movies and the like, I’m not sure what her feelings are on videogames. Am I already thinking too far ahead, I guess I wouldn’t mind keeping those for myself.

Oh right, but my parents will be there. Is that good or bad?

Like, I know my mom will cause a lot of conversations to spark (she is super talkative) and I will technically get to know her through that. But should there be a moment where we just part ways for a bit just to talk between us? Or should I just not force that? Talk it out with my parents that I’d like to be left along? that I don’t want them to interfere? But also, what if I do? What if I can’t say enough by myself?

For some reason I also act like I don’t want my parents to realize I like her even when it’s kinda obvious. I actually messaged her out of nowhere last Monday, and we got to a call from there. It was after work, I stepped off the bus early and literally walked from downtown all the way to my house, for more than an hour, and we talked the whole time! So I can hold a conversation, yay!

But! I also did it, because I didn’t want to be in a phone call with her while at home. I didn’t want my parents to be like “tell her hi for us!”

During our conversation, I had to hang up for a bit, and when we returned she actually talked about how she was so surprised I reached out, that she told her mom about it. She told her mom I called her! Like, was it in a casual way?, was she so happy she had to let her know? I have no idea.

Why am I kind of ashamed of this? Oh right… I also feel like I could hurt someone else.

Yep, there’s another girl, and even though I only see her like once a year during some big church events, we are cool! We don’t really chat or anything, I’ve been shy to pursue anymore because she’s even farther away, but I’ve known her longer and feel like she likes me, maybe I do too. But still, we are just friends, maybe it’s all me. Also, they know each other, and they are good friends too, what am I even doing aargh.

The drama continues I guess. I won’t be posting this to my big account, an exclusive for avid readers of my RSS or my blog or those who may see it shared in a smaller account, feel free to reach out in private if you have some advice or thoughts. I have been told to not trust the internet when it comes to things like this though, so whatever.

Now, if you are someone who maybe has somehow developed a crush on me because of my blog and the posts I’ve shared, and you are interested on videogames and share a lot of the same hobbies and thoughts I’ve expressed here, and you were hoping to someday confess your feelings and that I would share the same interest on you. This is probably your last chance, who knows!!?? I don’t.

Until later. This post doesn’t count for #100DaysToOffload.